I met her at the airport.
The connection was riveting. I had never felt anything like it. Sleek, sophisticated, elegant. She totally blew me away.
I had heard about others who had fallen into this same trap but I had always scoffed it off as having a lack of discipline. “You’ll be back before you know it”, I would say. “Just a passing fancy”, I would add with a look of disdain creased across my forehead.
Why was it different for me? I guess because for me it was so clear that THIS was what I wanted. Her features seemed to fit with what I most desired as if they had been genetically programmed according to my exact specifications. For the first time in perhaps a decade – maybe longer! – I was in love.
Of course I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was about to give up (and oh, quite willingly) so many of the things that I valued just to be able to possess her.
When I look back, I, of course, realize my folly. Hindsight is after all 20/20. Still, a part of me understands the madness and gently forgives. Her lightness of being; her smooth contours and radiance; just the fact that she could get turned on in the blink of an eye – without as much as a one-minute warm-up – were some pretty good arguments for why anyone would succumb. At least that’s what I thought at the time.
But in the end I knew that I had to go back because I finally woke up to the realization that as beautiful as she was, I was simply giving up too much to replace my PC with her.
The first real wake-up call for me was the keyboard dilemma. Although I finally bought an external keyboard, I have to be honest and say that I rarely used it. It was an appendage that killed the elegance and simplicity. I realized that my productiveness had dropped a good twenty percent due to that handicap alone.
Then there were all the other important core applications that I couldn’t work on from my iMistress which I kept telling myself that I would take care of when I got to the office – and never did.
Eventually, my inbox became uncontrollable and my other admin responsibilities began to cave in on me, so it was time to make a decision: to iBe or not to iBe.
I weighed the situation as squarely and as objectively as I could and I realized that there were three main advantages for, and two main disadvantages against. The advantages were ease of start-up (no waiting time), mobility (light-weight and thin) and, quite honestly, the coolness factor (Look at me, I’m a cutting-edge kind’a guy). I didn’t admit to the last advantage for a long time because I don’t consider myself that vain, but after some serious contemplation I realized that every time I would take out my iMistress in a meeting or at a restaurant bar I felt the invisible eyes of envy. Silly, I know.
There are some other advantages as well, such as the active screen and 3G or 4G connection (depending on when you strayed), but I realized that it was the first three that caused me to betray my PC.
The disadvantages however were more serious: It was taking me much longer to get work done and everything that I needed a PC for – things central to my job – were taking a back seat for esthetic advantages. The writing was on the wall; it was time to reconfig.
I didn’t get rid of my iMistress in some cheap irresponsible way. It may surprise you to know that I still visit her quite often – and I’m very open about it with my PC. As a matter of fact they are bedmates now; they both travel with me wherever I go. And you know what? Even if it means keeping a few extra pounds in tow, I find that I’m more productive than ever because now I have the best of both worlds. I wonder if that means that I’m bi? (in terms of platforms that is.)
I will always remember my first embrace with my iMistress, but I’m no fool. In the end I’m a pretty pragmatic guy. I guess my PC knew that, which is why, even if I strayed for a while, she’s still there for me, and I’ll definitely think twice and then a third time before I stray away from her again.
Michael Hoffman, CEO of Atrendia, a company specializing in effectiveness in internal communications has never actually owned an iPad or any other tablet, but he fantasizes about them often.
 You may know the iMistress as the iPad – but it might as well have been any of the other hot tomales out there: the HP Touchpad, the Dell Streak, the BlackBerry PlayBook, etc.